Negativity in Tulsa...

[Conan71]

You jarred loose an interesting thought GB71.  I'm amazed at how many people who complain about government who don't ever vote.  "Ah, their all crooks, why vote, doesn't make a difference."  I can seriously think of at least ten people I've known who thought Nixon sucked, Carter sucked, Reagan sucked, both Bushes, and Clinton sucked- yet they have never registered to vote.

I didn't get overly interested in city politics or let me re-word, see how many ways people can get involved and make a difference until about the time I started posting on TulsaNow.  I understand far more about the workings of our local government and have a better idea than I did two years ago of how to be an advocate for and how to approach others about change or how to get things done.  It's been enlightening.

I also got what Ponder was saying about apologizing about returning to Tulsa.  I lived in KC for about six months a little over 20 years ago.  I moved up there on a pipe dream.  At any rate it took a few years to finally admit it, but Tulsa's not just a great place to "be from" it can be a great place to "be" if you have the right mind-set.

[Dana431]

I'm in Little Rock this week for software training.  The software trainer went on for about 5 minutes during lunch yesterday telling us and other trainees from Texas how much he loved to train in Tulsa.  He thought Brookside was so much fun.  And the trainer went on to tell the Texas trainees about Cains Ballroom and Riverparks...  It would be nice to hear that kind of enthusiasm from Tulsans (other than this forum) every once and a while.

We'll get there soon, I have a feeling....

[Hometown]

I guess there's all kinds of negativity.  Personally I save my critism for people I care about. And I try to soften the blow when I deliver it.  But, if I don't like you, you'll never hear a word of personal criticism from me, because I want you to fail.

Now, as far as ripping Tulsa goes, if family can't tell her, who can?

A great city embraces and learns from her critics.  Tulsa is a great city.  

Did you hear that young professionals?  Tulsa was on the map before you even thought about being born.  So don't tell me about putting Tulsa on the map.  My grandparents' generation did that.

[azbadpuppy]

Its not just Tulsa- I hear it all the time in Phoenix, and from people in Dallas, and the worst might be OKC, but Albuquerque folk can be a bit negative too. I've even heard rumblings from Chicagoans and Angeleno's too. Let's face it- Most Americans suffer from the 'grass is greener' syndrome pretty badly.

I think many Americans are so disillusioned with life these days they are convinced that anywhere would be better than where they are.

FWIW, Almost everyone I meet, outside of Tulsa, that knows anything about Tulsa, has only good things to say. Texans excluded.

[custosnox]

quote:Originally posted by azbadpuppy

Its not just Tulsa- I hear it all the time in Phoenix, and from people in Dallas, and the worst might be OKC, but Albuquerque folk can be a bit negative too. I've even heard rumblings from Chicagoans and Angeleno's too. Let's face it- Most Americans suffer from the 'grass is greener' syndrome pretty badly.

I think many Americans are so disillusioned with life these days they are convinced that anywhere would be better than where they are.

FWIW, Almost everyone I meet, outside of Tulsa, that knows anything about Tulsa, has only good things to say. Texans excluded.

Hey now, some of us Texans are working to bring Tulsa up to speed.

[rhymnrzn]

Tulsey Town has route 66, and is the gathering place of the Five Civilized Tribes.  

There's many poor people that deserve to have what is good in the land for a season, and what is spiritually good, too.

[sauerkraut]

Think postive about "T"-Towne. I really like Tulsa's RiverSide jogging trail. That's a great place to run & relax after a hard day at work.[]

[azbadpuppy]

Its not just Tulsa- I hear it all the time in Phoenix, and from people in Dallas, and the worst might be OKC, but Albuquerque folk can be a bit negative too. I've even heard rumblings from Chicagoans and Angeleno's too. Let's face it- Most Americans suffer from the 'grass is greener' syndrome pretty badly.

I think many Americans are so disillusioned with life these days they are convinced that anywhere would be better than where they are.

FWIW, Almost everyone I meet, outside of Tulsa, that knows anything about Tulsa, has only good things to say. Texans excluded.

[waterboy]

Tulsans have high expectations and do not react positively unless there is a proven chance of reaching those expectations. Not a bad thing really. Makes change difficult. V2025 showed a path and set high standards and still was a close vote.

Nonetheless, we're 5 little towns and some suburbs in a loose association. It doesn't make sense to say we're negative. I would be hard pressed to find a typical Tulsan.

[sauerkraut]

The grass is greener thing... I feel that way about Columbus, Ohio & Omaha, NE. I'm thinking on moving to Omaha, NE from Columbus, Ohio... [8D]

[TulsaFan-inTexas]

AMEN!!!

quote:Originally posted by cannon_fodder

quote:Originally posted by inteller

it's reality.  get used to it.

Slavery was a reality.  Racism is still a reality. Shall we just get used to it?

Germany used to invade France every other decade, never got used to it.

Tulsa was shedding jobs like dog hair in the spring, good thing we didn't just get used to it.

People die a slow and painful death from cancer all too often.  Disease rots the brains of loved ones.  Children are sexual abused every day - just get used to it.

That's just a horrible attitude to have.  Your world must be very sad if you "just get used to" such things.  Nearly everything that is bad can be changed or at least addressed.  At VERY least you could have a desire to see it changed, instead of just accepting it as it is.

[Doug Loudenback]

quote:Originally posted by Conan71

quote:Originally posted by TheArtist

See thats what gets me though is all the positive things we have going for us and still there are people that complain.  Or whenever there is good news, people find some way to turn it around and say something negative. There surely are things we need to improve, but goodness, when there is real good news no need to go out of ones way and find some way to make a negative out of it.

I also know that there are some people who complain because its a habit "there is an actual pshychological disorder". Its a habit that gets attention.  Getting attention gives them a little feel good rush. Its like a drug, feels good for a moment, but then their normal "baseline" negativity takes over, they feel bad, and then they habitually go for the next rush by griping about something, seeking the attention, etc.  Its a difficult habit and cycle to break. I have even seen some on the TW site who, if the story is undeniably good, complain about something completely unrelated to the story, just to get in a good complaint lol.

You just learn to see who the "regular, sky is falling, complainers" are, know that they always complain about everything, dont have a balanced, real perspective, and thus dont have anything real to contribute... and just ignore them. Unfortunately there is always someone who hasnt got that, takes the bait, and responds.

I have wondered if there is however, more of a "negativity culture" here as opposed to other cities? And if so, what is the cause of it? We really have a lot going for us. Tulsa really is a beautiful city with a lot of opportunity. Whats really exciting to me is that its just the right size and point in its growth that a small handful of people can get together and do something that matters, make a positive difference which will last.

Artist, great post.

I identify people as either solution-oriented or problem-oriented.  There's degrees in either direction, imagine a simple horizontal line graph if you will with one extreme to the left, the other to the right.

Problem-oriented people have a wonderful evening seeing "Phantom" or something else at the PAC, then biznitch all the way home about "having to park two blocks away, fend off 100 bums getting to their car, then it takes 15 minutes for traffic to clear down Cincinnatti."

Another example from work last week:  A customer called, I asked how he was.  "Not good at all, damnit!"  

"Okay, so what's the problem?"

"I can't find the damned identification number on this vessel you sent me."

"Hey, don't sweat it, just relax.  There's a little panel on the upper left hand corner...."

You get where I'm going with this?  The dude decided it was a problem before he ever called me.  Rather than **** on someone else's day, why not approach it as: "I was having a difficult time figuring out where this number was supposed to be can you help me out?"

I have friends who can ruin an entire six-hour evening by complaining about five minutes which wasn't to their liking.  I usually tune them out or they are the last people I call to do things with.

Problem-oriented people seldom see problems as being their fault and generally take very little responsibility for their own actions.  (Getting into a fender-bender in the mall parking lot was the other guy's fault because he was trying to nose into the same space I was)

Nothing ever seems to satisfy them completely.  I cringe when I go shopping, eat, or get a haircut and I listen to someone go on and on about how bad their marriage sucks, their job sucks, the country's gone to hell in a hand-basket, this Bush economy sucks, then they toddle out and drive off in their new Lexus convertible.

These people I refer to as the GHE's, and yes, it's a way of getting attention.  Generally other GHE's enjoy getting into long biznitch sessions with others.

Solution-oriented people smile when they approach the ticket agent in the airport after a four hour storm delay.  Being a prick solves nothing when everyone else around is tense and tired.  

Solution-oriented people are accepting of what their part in a situation is and are usually more willing to compromise or take a leadership role in making change happen rather than counting on others to do it.

There are solution-oriented people who can be over-bearing because they think they have the right idea or solution to every situation.

Long-story short- public forums like this are perfect places for GHE's and GHF's.  If all you pay attention to are the complainers, Tulsa seems pretty negative.  If you listen to the cheerleaders, it sounds like a place on a roll.

Tulsa has some large city vibe but it's still not Kansas City, Dallas, Denver, etc. ad nauseum yet.  Tulsa has it's own "cool factors" if people choose to see it and accept what those things are.  I personally can't expect one city to be just like another.  Visionaries like Elliot Nelson or Nelson Kifer (didn't mean to get hung up on Nelsons- Mr. Kifer was the major catalyst in mid-Brookside revival with "Stonehorse" at 35th & Peoria in the late '70's) can get the ball rolling and literally be the cornerstone of future developemnt- all with private funds.

Problem-oriented people see a crumbling old building.  Solution-oriented people have a vision for a new vibrance in the area.

All I can say, is I've lived here for 42 years and I'm astonished how much has been invested here, and how much the area has developed, especially the last 20 years as we shrugged off the oil bust.

Personally, it's pretty hard for me to crap on the kind of progress we've seen in a relatively short period of time, especially after a collapse of our core economy not 25 years ago.

I've come to be a fairly regular "lurker" here and rarely post since I'm from Okc and just like reading about what's going on up the Turnpike. It's a great forum you have here!

But, I would be remiss if I didn't say that the above 2 posts are a pair of the finest that I've read anywhere. Good stuff that those from ANY city would benefit from hearing and thinking about.

Tulsa IS a great city, so is mine. The kinds of attitudes expressed above only mean that good things will continue to happen. And there you are!