Marriage counseling

[citizen72]

One of our employees came to me on Thursday and asked if I could suggest a good qualified marriage counselor. Seems he thinks his wife is doing the dirty deed with someone other then himself. I suggested that perhaps he should be talking to an attorney. He said there are others in the family that have to be considered other than just he and his wife. As such he feels compelled to try to work this out if it proves to be true. Bummer. Is there anyone that has a counselor in mind that you would feel comfortable recommending?

[citizen72]

No one? Thought this would be the perfect place to ask this question.

[Conan71]

I'd be happy to recommend the counselors who tried to save my first and second marriages, but apparently they were either not great in their advice or I'm a terrible listener.

Bill Berman at Christian Family Institute is a very good counselor.  I saw him for marital issues in my first marriage and after I lost a very close family member.  He's a very gifted counselor  and even though "Christian" is in the name, I never felt it was preachy nor that there was an expected outcome based on Biblical principals.  Tell your friend to give him a try.

[citizen72]

Thanks, that will get this ball rolling. Always feel very sad for a family when this kind of thing happens. My wife and I have been married for forty years and we are really just joined at the hip. Wish all marriages could be as successful. Sadly, it involves so many more people that just the two primary principals.

[cannon_fodder]

Sorry, not ignoring you.  I just don't have any suggestions! 

[RecycleMichael]

I am the wrong one to ask. I want to get married ten times or more.

I just love cake.

[Conan71]

Thanks, that will get this ball rolling. Always feel very sad for a family when this kind of thing happens. My wife and I have been married for forty years and we are really just joined at the hip. Wish all marriages could be as successful. Sadly, it involves so many more people that just the two primary principals.

I am incredibly fortunate that I finally got it right on the third try, I have an amazing marriage now and my wife feels the same way.  We figure we both had to get a few knots on our heads before we were ready to find "the one".

[RecycleMichael]

I am the wrong one to ask. I want to get married ten times or more.

I just love cake.

I know this is expensive. Love is grand, but divorce is like fifty or sixty grand.

[Red Arrow]

I know this is expensive. Love is grand, but divorce is like fifty or sixty grand.

You need a better paying job.  Divorce cost one of my friends about $250K.

[Hoss]

You need a better paying job.  Divorce cost one of my friends about $250K.

Even as a youngster, I was fairly smart.  The ex and I told ourselves we'd wait five years before children and we lived in an apartment the whole time we were married.  Which wasn't long (about 3 years).  Divorce luckily cost me exactly $300.  And half of one credit card bill (about another $400).  I know I got off lucky, but haven't been married since.  Hell, just now starting to see people again at 50.

[erfalf]

Not in Tulsa, but I have heard good things about Samaritan Counseling & Growth Center in Bartlesville. Have also done fundraisers for them as well. Knew someone that went for stress/depression. I only know they do marriage counseling because of their website. It's "faith integrated" but I don't think they are trying to convert all their patients or anything, but in fairness, marriage is a rather religious thing to many people so maybe it's a good background to discuss it.

[Ed W]

Our company has (or had) a counselor wbo was part of the HR department. It's very possible that HR will have some contacts as it's their job to keep good employees on the job.

Ministers and priests are good resources too. They may offer counseling themselves or, like BR, have contacts within the community.

[citizen72]

Thanks guys for your input. I am one of those people that would just love to take my employee and his wife and give them a good hug and just make it okay afterall. But sadly not to be being that things are just not that simple. I also know that if I won a large amount in a lottery I would have a ton of fun paying off peoples mortgages and bills. That would be a wonderful way to pay it forward with all the people that have helped me in my life span. Then too, at times I wish my office door was not so open all the time. Have a great new year to each and every one of you guys. Salute!!!