I don't think the President intended to disrespect the family or the soldier. I suspect, in his head, he was trying to convey the common sentiment that a soldier knows the risk they are taking and knows the potential consequences, but has the dedication and bravery to do it anyway. That message was not conveyed well and certainly not received well. Coupled with the apparent fact that the President was not properly prepared to place the call and it is certainly an unfortunate event and could be an excellent learning experience. Surely a part of the job no one can be prepared for. What's more - if President Trump, or any President, said he offers full support to the families of deceased service members but doesn't believe it is appropriate for the President to get personally involved for whatever reasons (risk of politicizing, risk of upsetting, who knows)... I could accept that too.
However -
The fact that condolences to families of deceased service members was highlighted by Trump as somehow elevating him above any other president is either another sad example of him being horribly uninformed or an outright lie using dead soldiers for his political gain. Bush regularly faced angry grieving family members and took their abuse stoically, which we only know because family members spoke about it appreciatively (rather than Bush bragging). Obama often met caskets at the airport or visited troops in the hospital, again without fanfare. For a sitting President to be ignorant on such matters is telling.
Worse, when this family express disappointment with the President he essentially calls them liars:
Donald J. TrumpVerified account @realDonaldTrump (~ 5:35 AM EST, 10/18/17)
Democrat Congresswoman totally fabricated what I said to the wife of a soldier who died in action (and I have proof). Sad!
The conversation was verified by other people who were with the mother when the conversation took place, on speaker phone.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/10/18/totally-fabricated-trump-disputes-congresswomans-depiction-of-his-exchange-with-soldiers-widow/?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_johnson-828am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.fbb517da91b0When the family expressed disappointment in the President, Trump was faced with two choices:
1. Again express his condolences and apologize if his remarks came across as insensitive, or
2. Something stupid.
Also - Trump again alludes to secret recordings of his conversations, but again the White House asserts that the conversations are "private" when the issue becomes a liability. If he has "proof," produce it. Otherwise, stop lying.
Finally, while he has had time to go golfing a couple dozen times and tweet hundreds of times, he hasn't had time to get around to calling all the families of the deceased. Something I normally wouldn't criticize, but given Trumps bragging about being the bestest and only ever to ever call families of the deceased... you'd think he'd be better at it.
http://www.sltrib.com/news/2017/10/18/trump-hasnt-called-all-families-of-the-fallen-including-one-from-utah/Sadly, it seems likely the only times Trump has offered any comfort to the families of fallen are the times he has bragged about. But hey, at least he is pretending to demand respect for service members by starting fights with sportsball players... right? That's what's important.