You know that the many rituals evolved over the years for the care and feeding of an internal combustion engine are much more complicated than plugging in a battery charger, and can lead to any one of several paths of total destruction, rather than just a battery going dead.
Talk about thick headed, you take the prize. You are still equating the maintenance of the prime mover with maintenance of the energy source. Maybe you missed the posts where Nathan found the link showing that Tesla had taken pro-active design steps to protect the battery system on the S model (compared to the Roadster) and I agreed that it was much more reasonable.
Even the "vaunted" Cadillac Northstar - supposed to the be the ultimate GM engine - has a serious weak spot in its aluminum engine. And you don't even have to abuse or ignore for that failure. You can just drive it to 125,000 miles and watch it happen. Head gaskets cost around $3500 to replace if you DON'T need new heads or block. New air ride suspension on the DeVille costs about the same after just too few miles (well under 100,000).
I much prefer the approach that BMW took in the mid 90s. The aluminum block V8 engines were susceptible to attack of the cylinder walls due to the higher level of sulphur in American fuel than was permitted in German fuel. BMW extended the engine warranty to 6 years or 100,000. If an engine was damaged by evidence of a leak during a differential compression check, the car owner got a new short block courtesy of BMW. My car (1995 540i) never exhibited any problems that I noticed but per the dealer recommendation, I took it in for examination at 96,000 miles and it failed. I got a new short block. I did pay for a few extras like a new water pump for the new short block and all new cooling system hoses but I wasn't complaining.