Okay so someone close to my SO passed away they mentioned having life insurance however there paperwork is... a mess to say the least. Is there any database/website/number to call that can check multiple places?
No.
Often the easiest way to find out is to check bank records for payments.
Sadly she used money orders for everything partly why its been so hard to find out much information.
Try MIB
http://www.mibsolutions.com/lost-life-insurance/
Life insurance companies usually use one of these as a "default" option when any whole life insurance policy lapses. If the policy lapses and an extended-term period expires before the insured dies, the policy is worthless.