urbandictionary.com

[stymied]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/

this site is a great way to waste a couple of hours.  Some of my favorites are:

Vajority - the majority of women.

Hobosexual - Adjective. The opposite of metrosexual; one who cares little for one's own appearance.

Phone Grope - Grabbing at pockets, patting yourself down to make sure you have your cellphone and don't need to turn around and go back home for it. This behaviour tends to be heightened in people who also have a habit of going back to check the locks on the doors several times before leaving home.

Jackass of all trades - A person who is exceptionally bad at everything.

Pregret - The feeling of regretting something you're about to do anyway.

[cannon_fodder]

I think you found all the winners.  All the ones I found remotely clever were R rated at best.

I'm going to make a note of adopting the Jackass one as well as the "pregret."  Those are classics.

[OKC_Shane]

Ha, I'm constantly phone groping.. Several times an hour, I check for phone, wallet, and keys to make sure they're in their proper positions.

Pregret is a good one.