The Tulsa Forum by TulsaNow

It was Christmas Eve, 1987. Mary was heavily pregnant with our first child. We had moved to Tulsa about 6 months previously as I'd taken a job with an airline. Money was tight, so tight that we couldn't afford a Christmas tree. Mary decorated a table lamp with tinsel and a couple of ornaments. Afterward, she stared at it and began to cry.

We're both from big families with traditions of gathering at the holidays to exchange gifts and have a meal. But in Tulsa, the two of us were alone. It would be different in later years as our children arrived and we established our own traditions. That first Christmas, however, was a lonely one.

That evening, we simply wanted to escape from the apartment. Even now, though it's many years later, I remember that apartment as a cold, dark place, not at all cheerful or welcoming. The pathetic decorated table lamp only added to the sadness.

We found a modest, family-style restaurant open, though a sign out front warned they'd close early that evening. We had about 30 minutes. The dinner crowd was thinning out and the staff was busily cleaning in anticipation of going home. Our waitress greeted us warmly, I think partly because Mary was so obviously pregnant and red-eyed. Our food arrived promptly and she never pressured us to hurry, instead treating us as if we were her only customers and she had all the time in the world. Undoubtedly, she had her own family waiting anxiously at home, but she treated two strangers as if they were friends. I'll never forget that simple kindness.

That was many years ago. I think about it every Christmas. The restaurant is long gone and there's no way I could ever track down that waitress to thank her. That simple act of kindness has stuck with me over the years because there's a lesson in it. We never know how much we might impact someone's life as we go about our daily routines. A smile or a few kind words can make a huge difference in another person's day without our ever being aware of it.

Think about that during this holiday season. In fact, keep it in mind through every season. You can brighten someone's day just as that waitress brightened ours. You can bring joy to someone's life. Christmas is supposed to be joyous, and if you truly feel that same joy, please share it in both the big things and the small ones.

Merry Christmas to all of the Tulsa Now members. Regardless of our differences, I wish the best to you all, may you have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. We disagree, and argue over things, and disagree over the importance of things related to Tulsa, the best to those that want the best for Tulsa.

To both the posts above... well said!

Merry Christmas!

Ed, that was also the year of the big ice storm which left many around town without power or heat for several days.  Not a good introduction to Tulsa for the holidays for sure!

I remember that..living at an apartment near Rogers High School that year that had electric heat, so I had to hang out at a friends house for a couple of days. I remember a friend of mine getting his 1970 Camaro stuck and we fought to get it unstuck for 30 minutes.  He told us about a week later he had forgotten to release his parking brake.  We almost killed him.   :)